Optometry 2020

So here's the thing. I'm terrible at blogging and continually posting.  I feel like that is my starting sentence for every post I write which is obviously still consistent considering my track record over that past year.  Blogging has simply become an occasional stress reliever or a way for me to avoid studying for an exam (like right now) so I guess I am just going to have to accept that :)

To catch anyone out there who might be reading this up to date: I worked as an optician for a year, applied to optometry school, [finally] got in, moved to Massachusetts, and I am now attempting to make all my dreams come true. For those of you who know me, you know optometry has been my plan since I was 13, and if you REALLY know me, you also know that this was never really "my plan"- it was the Big Man upstairs who made it all happen and he is slowly revealing my story piece by piece.  I wouldn't feel right if I didn't attempt to share the journey. 

To preface all of this even more: in this very broken world we live in, I am just that.  I screw up often, I definitely don't have some super power or weird intuition about growing, hearing God's voice, or seeing His plan. I am flawed and confused, and half the time I have no idea what I am doing out here. But then I come full circle and remember my prayers just last year about where I was supposed to go and what I was supposed to do, and it turns out this was God's plan all along. I heard in a sermon one time that God gives you dreams or visions of the finish line (like becoming an optometrist for me) but withholds the trials and effort necessary to make it happen so that we will actually pursue the dreams He has for us.

So that meant for me, all within an 8 week turn around this past summer, I moved to a city I knew nothing about into an apartment with a perfect stranger 13.5 hours away from home to start at a school I almost didn't even apply to all because I believed God wanted me to jump in with blind faith.

Now that definitely does NOT mean my life has been all peaches and rainbows since I moved, although I think it is really pretty good most of the time. I get to study what I love most, I am meeting some incredible people, and there is so much new for me to explore. But more importantly here in Massachusetts, I am being challenged. The people that kept me accountable are now hundreds of miles away, so it is my turn to lean in and make things personal with God. And quite honestly it's weird sometimes. It's also weird to get on here and want to write about it and share that I don't have all this figured out. But this is the message I guess I want to get across from this part of my story:

Just because God leads you somewhere, it doesn't mean that your everyday life is going to be radically altered day-in and day-out even if it seems that way at first. Everyday may look normal, feel normal, and then occasionally it feels a little unknown because you don't really have control, but yet you just know that there's something different about the path you're on and you're going for it because you believe that there is more to what you're doing than what you can see. You probably won't feel that way every single day, but every once in a while you get that feeling in your gut, and you're reminded to keep going. Maybe none of that makes sense, but that's the journey I am on now.  He put me in this city, at this school, into this program, and with these people. I have no idea what I am supposed to do here other than go to school and show people love, but I think that's all I am really supposed to keep in mind. The details are just left in the dark (at least for me) for the time being.  

The funny part about my story is I am here learning all about sight, right? Trying to make people see clearly into infinity. But if you actually think about it, we can't even see beyond the moment we are in. God has this whole out-of-the-box type of visual system where He sees the whole plan at once and reveals it to us in moments. How in the world does all of this come together? I have absolutely no idea. But what I do know and what I have learned is that we as people can only sense through our eyes what is going on right here and right now. God can see much farther passed the right now, and he chooses when to reveal glimpses of goals and dreams of the life he intended for each and every one of us. With that, He also presents the opportunity to pursue them in all kinds of surprise forms.  So far, what I couldn't see and have blindly trusted in has led me in a very different direction (the East Coast), but I can say I feel rooted here.  I feel led even in blind faith and momentary sight. My current day-in and day-out is not at all my plan, but it has always been God's.  His perfect vision just for me (O.D. 2020).  The best part is though that he has made a tailored plan for each and every one of us, just like He has for me.

There is still so much work to be done, and I will be praying for some many people- that they find a connection with God and find comfort in Him.  I struggle, you struggle, we all struggle to feel like our life has meaning and good reasoning. I can only hope that sharing my story helps provide comfort and helps encourage those in a daze trying to figure out your journey. There is much more to come in all of this, but for now, I'll stop babbling here. 

Thanks for reading and good luck with whatever leap is next, 

T.Hall 

PS: In this normal, ordinary, momentary sight I have, I saw some wicked New England fall things. Maybe this will lighten the mood a little :) Happy Fall everybody!